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I love to write and I have plenty of poems and a short story or two that i wouldn't mind having other people read. So, I need to go through the old poems that were here (I don't really care for most of them), delete the ones I don't like, edit the ones that have potential, and add some new ones. Check back often, this is probably going to be one of the pages I update most frequently. We used to be so close
like two peas in a pod
but now youre throwing me away
and I dont know why
you act like I'm not around
unless you need me or I'm crying
maybe you dont see it
but I can feel it now, I'm dying
I tried to talk about it
you just gave a nod, a nervous smile
Ive been trying so hard to please you
and Ive been crying all the while
It hurts so bad that I cant think
I need you now more than ever
what happened to the good ol days?
when you loved me, dont you remember?
You ask me what's wrong
and I soak up the attention
these moments when you speak to me
are my suicide prevention
Yes, thats how much you mean to me
youre much more than a fickle pulse
And one time you said that you were sorry
and I said its not your fault
Whats not your fault?
My tears, my pain?
The self-loathing and unwanting
what washes over me like rain?
Or is it the suicidal thoughts?
Or that I just dont care anymore?
Or maybe its the lack of concentration
that wasnt there before?
So many things you mean to me
I cant begin to say
but now youre gone, replaced with hate
I hope we meet again some day
And this, i dont know WHAT this is. I just started writing. I suppose you could call it a poem. Hey, why not.
You know that falling tree everyone is always asking about?
You know, the one that no ones around to hear?
Yupp, thats me. And the answer to the question of do I make a sound?
I used to, at first.
I would scream and shout and yell.
I would only stop for breath when my face was blue and my throat was hoarse.
And the periods of stopping would get longer and longer until one day there was no more noise.
I just stopped all together.
No, I didnt quit, I didnt give up.
There is simply just no more scream inside of me.
Now I just lay here
silent, slowly decomposing
All alone
I was once the essence of fight, of noise and anger.
And now I ask, what is noise?
This is a poem, but i cant tell you who wrote it. Not to protect their identity, but because i really dont know. Sarah took these notes on a convo we had about my best friend val, i dont know if i can still call her that, and i had the idea to make it a poem. So i changed the pronouns around to make it from my point of view and, well, this is what i got:
Is it important?
Put myself on the table
suicide is nothing
Cant live without her
Do you care?
Talk for me
doesnt care
didnt know where I was coming from
not listening
put life in her
couldnt have made it through
killed me
I cant get back
she didnt care
told her
so disappointed
effect unknown
dont care
doesnt give a shit
didnt say
Lazy days
stay in bed
fall in and out of sleep
let my comforter warm my lazy toes
warm and happy
no school
no worries
just the contented smile
that remains on my lips
watching the shadows the lazy leaves make
on the lazy ground
petting the lazy cat
reading a good book
enjoying the time
when time doesnt matter
just being lazy
just being me
lazy days
the medicine of life I DID NOT WRITE THIS POEM!
My Last Razor
As a rule, if one is going to look
Like a model from a book,
She will try to fit in
And try to be thin.
She will sit, stare, gawk and compare
Inevitably give in and remove the hair
On her legs. To please society.
I don't agree. This is not for me.
So girls will shave their legs and guys will shave their faces
And if some so choose, they will shave other places.
Choosing not to stick to the societal pic,
Yesterday, I threw my Bic
Disposable razor away. It is now waiting
In the trash while girls are hesitation
As to whether they are prickly enough
To shave. I don't huff and puff
Worrying about making my legs silky smooth
So I can impress that rude, homophobic dude
That whispered "Dyke!" today as I made
My way down the hall. It was tough, my last blade,
That I threw away with a few mixed
Feelings. But it meant no more shaving cream and nicks,
Razor burn or lotion.
And what a commotion
It stirs when my legs are n view
Of my mom, she says, "If you
Are going in public with me I don't
Want to see your hairy legs" "Then I wont
Go with you today." I say with a sad heart.
She turns and then looks, angrily, the other way and starts
Asking, "Why can't you be like all of the
Other girls I see?" "Because mom, that isn't me
Or who I need to be to be happy." Why
Is it that when a girl or guy
Drifts from the norm
They are pelted and thorned
With criticism from people
They don't know? It is feeble
To discriminate
I associate
With the feelings and pride
Of the oppressed, I'm on their side
Of the fight. All night and day
I strive to be the way
I feel inside. I wont and can't
Hide who I am with the leg of a pant.
-LR |  | Star Scars and Day Dreams |
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Sunshine breaks through
the walls that I've built
to keep out the lies and the pain
because a smile from you
breaks down the walls
and lets the light shine in I think a dream
I dreamt a thought
I saw a sight
I took a walk
I write a play
I play a game
I kissed the sky
I fell again
I got back up
I sat back down
I walked the path
I ran around
I closed my eyes
I took a breath
I smelt the sun
I laid to rest
I drifted off
I walk a beam
I think I thought
I dreamt a dream
Suffocation, drowning in my thoughts
Self-esteem can't be bought
Smothering me, life's pillow over my eyes
Plotting for my own demise
It's all just a nightmare
When can I wake up?
Monsters in the hill
take me with you
teach me to be
the monster they see
teach me to hide the beauty
cover the truth
show me how to be
a monster like you Atop a hill
a friend I seek
one who knows
the secrets I keep
knows what it's like
to lie awake
and think the thoughts I speak
An ear to listen
a hand to hold
a shoulder to cry
wings to fly
Atop a hill
a friend I seek
one who knows
what it's like to be me Wood in the fire
words to your lies
a match to spark
love to despise
air to your fire
to let it thrive
my rain to your flame
watch it die A look from you
melts my heart
puts me together
to tear me apart
builds me up
to knock me down
fills my cup
so I can drown
hope and hate
together in sync
can't let your eyes
get to me Hold my hand
lead the way
'till the gates of heaven
don't let me stray
keep me close
protect me true
entrusting my heart
a gift for you Silent tears
that you can't see
exist somewhere
they lie in me
sink or swim
they always say
well now it's time
It's judgement day salty droplets hit my lips
everything is tinted grey
stuck in my hallow place
sleep, sleep the pain away
Too Good To Be True
Love is a feeling that lasts forever,
When youre in love you just want to be together
All day and all night, side by side,
Until your feelings you can no longer hide
You tell him you love him and that you always will,
He holds you close, but there is something still
You lean in close nose to nose,
You think to yourself, okay here goes
Your lips meet in a wonderful kiss,
I cant believe it, Ive waited so long for this!
You hug him tight and kiss a little longer,
Your happiness has grown so much stronger
You go inside for a romantic evening,
You dont believe what your eyes are seeing
You light two candles and bring out the food
The faint light puts on just the right mood
You tell him, dont get full, there is desert,
So you sit for a while, play footsie and flirt
You blow out the candles and walk out to the beach
You walk next to each other, for your hand he does reach
You lie down in the sand next to him,
You go into the water for a late night swim
You tell him hes to good to be true,
Then you softly whisper Ill always love you
Perfection
Look at how perfect I am, though they say no one is perfect.
Look at the way I walk, it is as if I float across the ground.
Look at my eyes, how they sparkle in the sunlight.
Look at my hands, each fingernail painted with a soft sunflower.
Look at my feet, I am wearing the expensive new shoes that everyone wants, but only I have.
Look at my hair, a different flare to it everyday, always in the most fashionable style.
Look at my shirt, it is perfectly ironed, expensive and name brand.
Looks at my shorts, they are perfect down to the pockets.
Look at my legs, not one strand of hair, nor one cut to be found.
Look at my ears, the most beautiful yet simple earrings imaginable hooked through them
Look at my arm, wrapped around the perfect guy
Look at my lips, newly coated with the most in-style lip-gloss
Look at my face, not a pimple to be found, my eyebrows in the perfect shape
Look at my skin, a perfect tan yet it does not peel in the least
Look at my neck, a necklace to perfectly match my perfect earrings.
Look at my teeth, the most beautiful teeth ever seen
Look at my waist, perfectly skinny
Now look at who I am, not how I look.
Look at how important image is to me.
Look at how bad I make people feel when put them down about the stupidest things.
Look at how my friends are not my friends, yet enemies in disguise who use me for their own image.
Look at how I put my so-called friends down behind their backs with not a drop of guilt
Look at my perfect guy who I see flirt with other girls non-stop.
Look at how it seems I have the most friends, yet I am so lonely.
Look at what my beauty has done to me.
Now am I the one you want to be?
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